Release and Connection

That’s the theme for this week, apparently. Since my last post, I’ve traveled to Hooppath and home again, which was a much bigger journey than it sounds like.

I went with the intention of being cracked open emotionally and spiritually. In the spirit of getting what you ask for, that’s exactly what happened. I’m so grateful that I had arranged to take this following week off, as it’s allowing me to process where I’m at without having to deal with the world just yet.

I’m not a particularly good hooper, I don’t practice very much. I have made decisions about priorities that (for now) mean that’s going to keep being true for a while longer. But I love it, and when I find that time and space I enjoy the movement, and the challenge of doing things that you really can’t think about. You just have to do them. Not so different from spinning, really, in that regard. Practice makes better. And the spontaneity of “flow” is very, very good for me.

I also don’t think I’m a particularly good friend. I get absorbed in my own life and busy-ness, and just don’t attend to connections with others. The fact that I’m awkward in many social situations and basically a loner doesn’t help. So it was sweet that I got to spend some really lovely time with two friends from Columbia who were there. And I have tender hopes for a new friendship that’s starting.

So one thing that I’m finding is that this openness I’m experiencing is helping me speak my truth better. It’s a challenge. I have swallowed a lot of words to avoid perceived possible negative consequences. And I hide my emotions, at least the tender ones. So I’m allowing myself to express more sorrow, uncertainty, doubt, tenderness, and it’s good. I build up huge mental “stuff” and I’m trying to let that go. The husband helps me with this – he’s really good at that. When I let him.

And yes, I’ve been spinning since I got home. I’ll write about that tomorrow.


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